Safe Driving TIPS For Teens

One of the greatest fears for parents is an unexpected accident when their teenage child is behind the wheel. Each year, the days between Memorial Day and Labor Day are the deadliest 100 days for teen drivers and their passengers, according to the American Automobile Association (AAA). To minimize this risk, parents should learn the facts and teach their children how to drive safely. 

Sarah Robinson — engineer, Michelin test-track driver and one of the few female test drivers— teaches teens safe-driving skills. She also offers parents tips on maintaining a safe vehicle and how to effectively teach their young drivers about safety.

Sarah’s tips for teaching teen drivers

Situational awareness: To keep yourself out of danger, nothing is more effective than being aware of your surroundings.

Vision: Train your eyes to anticipate danger, focus as far ahead as you can see and use your peripheral vision to observe your immediate surroundings.

Stay focused: Distractions can result in fatal accidents. Parents should set rules limiting the number of passengers riding with a teenage driver. Using a cell phone, text messaging, changing the radio station or iPod tunes, or applying makeup should never be done while driving.

Speed and distance: Obey the speed limit, adjust your vehicle’s speed to match weather conditions and maintain a proper distance from the vehicle ahead of you.

Defensive-driving class: Practice is the best defense against accidents. A third-party instructor often can influence teens more effectively than the limitations of the typical parent–teen dynamic. Instructors are trained to teach teens car-control skills so they can avoid or minimize accidents.

Seating position: Proper seating position maximizes your ability to control your vehicle. Sarah provides tips to ensure drivers are positioned with arms the proper distance from the steering wheel and legs from the brake and gas pedals.

Set mirrors properly: Side mirrors can help maximize the view of the road, rather than reflecting the side of the car.
                                                                                                      
Steering position: For optimal control, hands should be placed at the three-o’clock and nine-o’clock positions on the steering wheel.

Tire pressure: Parents should teach their teenage drivers to check the pressure of all four tires once a month. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, 33,000 injuries and 700 deaths occur every year due to underinflated tires.

Safety equipment: Prepare the vehicle with the necessary safety equipment and an emergency kit. Cars equipped with stability-control systems, antilock-braking system and airbags help reduce accidents as well as the severity of injuries if an accident occurs.

Parents’ role: Parents can play a significant role in teaching their teenage drivers basic safety. First, they should be a good role model to their children when they are in the driver's seat. Next, they should establish safe-driving rules and enforce them. They also should enroll young drivers in defensive-driving courses. Finally, parents should explain the responsibilities and dangers of handling a 3,000-plus-pound vehicle.

It can happen to your TEEN.

As a mom of teenagers I want to encourage you to take 5 minutes and share this video with them. It says more then we could say in a 5 minute lecture to them.

Better Communication with Teens

by Brenda Nixon www.BrendaNixon.com

“Dad, why are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad son.”
“Yes you are!”
“No I’m not.”
“You look mad to me.”

Sound familiar? Do squabbles with your teen begin like this or get sidetracked with these mistaken accusations? There are many reasons parents and teens argue but consider this; sometimes it’s because adolescents don’t “read” facial cues correctly. Often teens translate a parent’s worried or panic expression as anger or something else. Then they respond to that perceived emotion. Thus the vicious cycle of misunderstanding and miscommunication.

Deborah Yurgelun-Todd, director of neuropsychology and cognitive neuroimaging, McLean Hospital, Belmont, Massachusetts, suggests that the teen brain actually works differently than an adult’s when processing emotional information from external stimuli. In her landmark study mapping the differences between the brains of adults and teens, Dr. Todd put volunteers through a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) machine and monitored how their brains responded to a series of pictures. The volunteers were asked to discern an emotion based on the facial expression in each picture. All adult volunteers correctly identified the emotions. However, many of the teenagers misread and misidentified the emotions based on facial expression. When Dr. Todd examined the brain scans, she discovered her teen volunteers even utilized a different part of their brain when looking at the faces.

Teens see things differently

In terms of communication, adults can look at fearful faces and correctly identify them as such. But teens don’t see them the same way. This means your daughter probably reads your intended expressions differently than you and she’s responding based on her perception. Carol Maxym, Ph.D., author of Teens in Turmoil writes, “One of the most common problems that parents and teens experience is a gulf in understanding.”

When you sense the tension rising

• Talk in a quieter voice. Adolescents can easily misinterpret facial expression and rising volume as “being mad.” A lowered voice may help in accurately identifying your true emotion. With my daughters, I found that my hushed voice brought relief to an escalating situation.

• Teach teens. If you’re annoyed, say so and if you’re feeling panic identify that too. Naming your emotions will help teens learn about you and to identify their feelings too.

• Be there for them. Teens must know you’re always available to listen, support, and give advice but this doesn’t mean you’ll try to run their life.

• Have a sense of humor. Teens are like toddlers in big bodies. You don’t need to excuse their behavior but don’t expect them to act like adults . . . they are not.

Sometimes applying brain research to parenting can help us better communicate with our kids. Perhaps next time you confront your teen, part of the dialogue might go like this:

“Dad, why are you mad?”
“This isn’t anger, this is fear.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“Your safety. Because I love you, I worry about you. Love has many expressions.”


©Copyright 2005, rev. 2008, Brenda Nixon.
Brenda Nixon (www.BrendaNixon.com) is a writer, speaker and educator on child development and guidance. Her book, The Birth to Five Book on raising a child from birth to age five is available wherever books are sold.

The Generation of Cell Phone Users - Tips and Rules For Teens

The three oldest kids in our home were issued cell phones in middle school for a variety of reasons, The number one reason being safety and the mom wanting to have the ability to contact them at anytime. If you have a tween or a teen and are considering making them a cell phone carrying teen we have a six tips for you.



1. Learn the foreign language of texting - teens use acronyms when texting to shorten their words however they also might be using them to keep adults from knowing what they are really texting about. Here is a list of of some common acronyms that your teem might use to keep you from really knowing what the conversation is about.



Text Messaging Acronyms

ADR — Address

AFK — Away from Keyboard

ASL — Age/Sex/Location

BRB — Be Right Back

GTG — Got to Go

GYPO — Get Your Pants off

IWSN — I Want Sex Now

JK — Just Kidding

KFY — Kiss for You

KPC — Keeping Parents Clueless

LMIRL — Let's Meet in Real Life

LMAO—Laughing My Ass off

LOL — Laugh out Loud

MorF — Male or Female

NIFOC — Nude in Front Of Computer

P911 - Parent Alert

PAL — Parents Are Listening

PAW — Parents Are Watching

PIR — Parent in Room

POS — Parents over Shoulder

SorG — Straight or Gay

TDTM — Talk Dirty to Me

WYCM — Will You Call Me?



2. Talk to your kids about the dangers of sexting - Be in the know as to who your kids are texting. You can also check your bill to see what times of the day your kids are texting.



3. Family cell phone rules - Establish rules

- What time at night do they need to turn off their phones

- Where they are to keep their cell phones at night in or out of their bedrooms.

- Turn cell phones off at meal times

- Driving and cell use

- Cell phone etiquette ( when and where talking is allowed)

- Use at school



4. To answer or not answer - discuss with your kids that they are to only answer calls or view text messages from people they know just Like the Internet, cell phones are used not only for bullying, but also for sexual predators and for scams.



5. Pictures and video - Teach your kids about that privacy and ethics are important. And you or your teen may be liable if a privacy law is broken. Do not invade others privacy using your cell phone camera abilities.



6. The bill- Determine who will pay and what types of services you will purchase for their phones. Unlimited vs. limited, texting, internet etc.

One Dozen Ways to spend Time With Your Daughter.

by: Trisha Novotny
24/7 MOMS Founder

When my children were little I would often run in to a more experienced mom who was always quick to tell me to enjoy this time with my children and that the years would go by quickly. I used to think they had forgotten what it was like to be in the trenches of motherhood but with 5 children and one already in College I have to say they were RIGHT. The years have and are flying by quickly. Daily I remind myself of this and look for opportunities to connect with my children.

Currently my Daughters are in their teen years which causes me to always be on the hunt for ways to spend time with them that they will enjoy and say YES to.

Here is my list of one dozen ways to spend time with your daughter.

1. Shopping - What teen girl doesn't love a shopping trip? My girls and I enjoy going shopping especially when we make a plan for an all day trip to a mall or city that we don't get to shop in on a regular basis. We have done both day shopping trips as well as over night ones where we stay at a hotel and eat our meals out. The great part about going shopping in a location farther away from your home is you also get time in the car to connect and chat.

2. Spa Time - We all love a little pampering, So, my girls and I have made it a tradition that each summer when school gets out we make an appointment to get pedicures in celebration of summer and flip flop season. Teen girls enjoy spa treatments and what a great way to connect with your daughter while being pampered.

3. Make-overs - Our local department stores offer various events during the year to introduce new lines of make-up. These events are are either free or charge a small fee that can then be applied to your make-up purchase. In the past my girls and I have attended ones at Nordstroms that usually include food and mini spa treatments. Call your local department stores and ask about any upcoming events in their make-up department.

4. Teen Conferences - I have taken my girls to several conferences designed for them. These conferences inspire them in their walk with God as well as encouragement as a teenager today in areas of boys , friendships and even their relationships with parents. Two of my favorite Teen girl conferences are the Revolve Tour and the You and Your Girl Conference ( for moms and daughters).


5. Projects - Does your daughter enjoy craft projects or scrap booking? Over the years we have done various projects together from making crafts to hosting girl craft days or going to the local pottery painting studio and creating art together. Participate in an area that interest your daughter and enjoy the time together.


6. Cooking - My daughter Savannah especially enjoys cooking and baking so we have made it a tradition to bake cookies for Christmas and Valentines day together. Cooking and baking together not only give you time together in the kitchen but you are also teaching them skills for the future.


7. Theatre Fun- Both of my girls enjoy going to Broadway shows, the movie theatre and concerts. These events are fun surprise for your daughters, make great bonding and memories of the time you spend together.

8. Coffee Appointments - Coffee isn't just for adults teens love to hang out in coffee shops so why not treat you daughter to a coffee appointment with mom for a time of catching up on her life and taking time t listen to her. You might be surprised what she will share over a cup of coffee.

9. Dinning Out - Taking my daughters out to lunch or dinner is always a fun experience, fancy or casual the time together is what is important.

10. Girl Trips - Over the years I have surprised my daughters with Girl only trips. This last fall we flew to New York and spent 5 days site seeing and attending Broadway shows. What amazing memories we made and a great bonding time. Your trips don't need to be elaborate they can be over night trips to another city that interest her or to the mountains for a day of skiing or hiking. What interest her?

11. Group Fun - Do you have Mom friends who also have teen daughters? plan a mother daughter time together anything from shopping to an over night trip. I always appreciate the influence other moms can also have on my teen daughter's. So, not only will you have fun but you will also give opportunity for your daughters to be influenced by other MOMS you respect as mentors to your daughters.

12. Join them - Find opportunities to be a part of their world and join them. Are they volunteering for a community project ? Do they need help on a school project? Are they involved in a church youth group or Young life program that needs adult help? What about their schools? Is there an area you can volunteer and show your support to your daughters?

Some areas I have found to be involved with my teen daughters is volunteering as a young life leader, volunteering to chaperon their school dances, helping them on big school projects when asked. The key here is to pay attention to the ASK are they wanting you to be involved? don't intrude in to their space but find out how you can be apart of their world in ways they are OK with.

Our mom days may seem long but our years are short - Make every moment count as a mom - Take Time this week for your Teens.

How do you spend time with your teenagers?

Connecting with Your Teen Daughter

Connecting with Your Teen Daughter

By Susan Fox

I am not parenting expert that is for sure. But I thought I’d like to share with you one of the places where I am in my mom journey. And that is the place of being a mom of 2 teenage daughters. God help me, and I don’t mean that flippantly. I sure do need it. I won’t be voted mother of the year for sure, but I really have been trying to improve in a couple of areas. One of them is just communicating and connecting. And not being too busy to do that.

I’ve been periodically taking my daughters out to lunch or to Starbucks after school. Something about a coffee shop just puts everyone in a relaxed mood. It may seem difficult to talk to a teenager sometimes, but it is well worth the effort. One of the most important things that I have learned about teenagers is that you cannot ask yes or no questions! This will get you nowhere fast and is terribly uncomfortable. So this requires a little more thought. I have one daughter who doesn’t talk a lot and seldom shares information about school or friends. But I have few tricks up my sleeve. Try to open up the conversation with something that is not confrontational…Don’t use this precious time to gripe at her about doing her homework or chores. Use this time to enjoy being with her as a person. One way to start is to ask her opinion. Teenagers have lots of opinions and they don’t often get the chance to share them with adults, but they like to. Even though they still seem immature at times they like adult conversation. It is surprising to hear her response sometimes when I bring up something that happened in the news. With teenagers on the computer as much as they are, they hear about everything. You can say “did you see the story about/ or what did you think about __” . Another non-threatening conversation starter is to ask for their ideas on what to do for your next family vacation or holiday that is a fun conversation where you get to dream together. Or ask what her plans are for the upcoming weekend. This is helpful to know, as moms always need more information. They also appreciate your interest in their friends. You might ask about some of her friends by name, and ask how they are doing. Ask her how she is feeling about school… is she stressed out? I find it helpful to empathize with my daughter by saying something like “I know it must be hard, having to get up so early every day.” Or” I’m sorry you have so much homework this week.” Empathy helps us to be able to let our guard down. And what girl doesn’t need a little more empathy from her mother.

As I mentioned, my one daughter is not an open book, nor a chatter box, like some girls. But I have discovered that if she has a friend or two come over after school and I make snacks for them in the kitchen I get to listen in on all kinds of great conversation, and find out interesting things that I would not have otherwise known. You see, even if my daughter doesn’t openly share about school and friends her girlfriends do plenty of talking for her and she usually joins in too. I get a little sneak peek into her world as I quietly make them snacks. So I make a point of every once in a while saying to her “hey why don’t you invite so and so after school and I’ll bake cookies for you” It’s a perfect set up!

And don’t forget that she needs your encouragement and affirmation. Try to think of things that you can compliment her on, like doing well in school or a sport or music or whatever it is that your teen is successful in. Make an effort to acknowledge when they do something nice or thoughtful at home or for a sibling. Take an interest in something they are interested in, whether it is a sport or drama or music. Make sure to attend events, contests or concerts. Let them know that you support them and think they do a great job. Recently I bought a copy of the same book that my daughter was reading, just so that I could have something to talk to her about.

An important thing to remember about mothers and daughters is that when our daughters share with us their thoughts and feelings it is a privilege. It is our duty to honor that privilege by keeping her confidences. These are not the things to get on the phone with your best friend about. Imagine if she were to ever overhear you repeating something that she shared with you. Even if it is something that seems silly or lighthearted to you it may not feel that way to her. You will do damage to your relationship and it may take a very long time for your daughter to ever trust you again.

I encourage you to schedule time to be with your daughter or daughters this week. As a teenager she is fast becoming a woman who will fly away soon. I’m speaking to myself here. I feel the clock ticking. I want to know her. I want to be there for her. I want her to know she is important to me and that I like being around her. The dirty floors can wait…..I’m doing coffee with my daughter.

10 Activities You Can Do With Your Teen Daughter for the Holidays

by Janine Sherman

As a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner and mother, I understand how difficult it can be to get quality time with your teen daughter. With all of the demands that the holiday season brings, it can often be overwhelming. Between the parties, shopping, cooking and planning, sometimes the really important things, like spending time with your teen, get pushed aside. Participating together in activities that connect you to your daughter not only help keep the spirit of the holidays real, they can be the best gift you give to each other. Spend time together making memories!

10 Activity Ideas

1. Have a baking day. Together, pick out special recipes and spend the day baking. There is nothing like rolling out dough together to give you a chance for some meaningful conversations.

2. Invite your daughter's friends and their mothers over for a Holiday Tea. You've already made the cookies. It allows you to get to know her friends and their moms while doing something fun.

3. Volunteer. Together, pick a charity and spend time volunteering. Not only do you get the opportunity to be together, but you get into the spirit of the holidays by giving to others. This is a great message.

4. Search for a craft project that would make great gifts for friends or neighbors and make them together. For example, one year we made cookie mix in a jar, decorated the jars, and took them to our neighbors.

5. Have an afternoon of culture. Go to a Christmas play, concert, or ballet. You don't have to spend a lot of money doing this since there are many local productions.

6. Have a Christmas movie marathon. This is one of my favorites. Each year we get out our favorite Christmas movies, put on our PJs, pop popcorn and lay on the floor and watch movies continuously.

7. Have a spa day at home. Get some festive nail polish and do mani-pedis. Who needs to go to the spa when you can do it in the comfort of your own home? When it is just the two of you and you are relaxed, the conversation just flows.

8. Christmas shop together, but start early with breakfast out. My favorite is to get up really early when all of the stores have the early bird specials. Take the advertisements, head off to your favorite breakfast place and come up with your game plan.

9. Go for a walk one evening, and look at holiday decorations in the neighborhood. Then decide on the most beautiful as well as the house with the "most over the top" decorations.

10. Start a holiday memory book. Get a journal and each of you write about the holiday season from your point of view. Don't forget to put in photos. This is something you can do every year, and when your daughter has her own family, it can be passed to her.

Remember, the shoes you give her will go out of style or wear out, the designer jeans will do the same, but the memories and time you give her will always be in her heart.

Janine Sherman is an OB/GYN nurse practitioner in Houston, TX, who specializes in caring for teens and their moms. She is also the co-author of the book Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You & Your Mom. This easy-to read, lively, down-to-earth book is definitely teen-friendly and is ideal to help both mothers and daughters have engaging conversations about tough topics